Made of more

L.G. state + and - about the story

S.O.S  have 2 + and 2 -  in the story

Once upon a time there was a cloud, that came from the sea. It was definitely a personification cloud! It went along the city looking for things to do. It goes along the city, seeing everyone and what people are doing.

It was a personification cloud, and it went on adventures! That weren't easy! But the wind direct it. It went everywhere like… through parks, the city and across the sea. Everyone would look at it. It was stared at a lot!! IT sore a fire out in the city. It was so big no one could take out. So the cloud DID!!! With its water. The cloud was a personification cloud!!!!

I hope you liked it. I think it was cool how the cloud took out the fire, but they could've explained it a little better. I like how they said it came from the sea. But they could've put some more detail in it. I think the appropriate age for for this story is 7-18. The rating for this story is a 3 out of 5. So I hope you liked it.

Taking flight

S.O.S.   1 Hook in

2  Keywords/summary of story

3  Positives/negatives about the story

4  Age appropriate (9-20)

5  Rating (4-5) out of 5

This story is really interesting story. So the people that like green screens or like to explore with there imagination, you may like  this story called, Taking flight.

Droom, droom goes the car. In the front was dad. And in the back in the car seat was a little boy and his favourite stuffed teddy! The dad says “ We are going to grandpa's house.” “ I am sorry its on such short notice, but this meeting is very important.” “ Were here.” “ Hello dad.” “ Well i'm off, good bye.” Then grandpa and the boy went on a great adventure!!! They used lots of their imagination and had a great time. They did adventures like sailing the seas, in a boat surrounded by big comfy crocodiles. Trying to bite us!!! They did things like… under the sea snorkelling, going in an airplane and travelled to the moon!!!

I really liked this. The grandpa and the boy used a lot of their imagination. The age I would recommend for this book is 4-15 and the rating is a 4 out of 1-5. I hope you Aenjoyed this story!!!

SPS MASTERS!!!

L.G.  Add extra words to add detail

S.O.S.  at least 3 adjectives

On Monday september the 11th, the year three and four were set up a challenge for their audience. It was called Master chef. They  had to make a wonder full restaurant for people to come and enjoy the best food someone has ever made! I went to one Everyone had a part to do like.. Setting the tables up.Putting the decorations on the tables, and around them to. The cookes were cooking up a storm!!! And some people would be greeting people in and telling them where to sit. People say it was very nice. They found a eiffel tower out back so they hung it up on the wall. It looked very very nice! They cooked the best meals!

For there entree they had onion soup with a packet full of of flavor. Aldo with soe bread on the side with the margerine buttered on it.  For there main they had, cheese cheese and bacon plus smooth mashed potato all mixed together. It was delicious. Their table was set up beautifully, with flowers and cool placemats with their menu on it! They had fancy cups with fancy straws. It was a great set up with beautiful food!!!

Meanwhile when we were eating, the waitress came over and said… “ Are you enjoying your food?” So of course i said… “ Yes, i love it!’’ But the dessert was a little, um i don't know the words for it? Any way is was about time everyone started leaving. So i did to, But first i went to go say bye to my daughter in the kitchen. And it smelt… AMAZING!!!!!!  And everyone was doing a great job cooking and getting ready for the food to come out. And when i sore the sink, man it was full with… DISHES!!!!!

So when i was about to leave the waitress said to me. “ We hope you liked your food.” So i just said. “ yes i did i loved it, bye.”

Mr Elder

L.G.  To elaborate my ideas

S.O.S. Add a extra words to explain the same thing

Just picture this. You have so much work to do and you so much to do in just five minutes and you have no idear how to do it, but you are so tired because you had to wake up early. Then… 1 2 3 4, BOOM!!! You fall straight asleep. Well Mr Elder if you don’t want that happening, you should listen to me. Here are my three reasons why.

Firstly, all people hate school, and only like two people like school. Out of 100 there would be 2 or 5 people that like school and 98 or 95 people hate school! Well Mr Elder do you want people getting bored and falling asleep in class time? No. I didn't think so. So id suggest this. Make morning tea and lunch time longer. That way they will have way more fun and want get bored in all the lessons. And all the kids will want to come to school!

Secondly, About energy. All kids need energy! We need more play time play time because, if we have more play time we get more energy from all the running around. And if we don't have energy we can get high graded!!! Sometimes when people are dehydrated  some people get headaches  or feel a little sick. So do you want half of the school to go home? Do you?

Thirdly, If you get more play time you can make lots of friends. Like if new kids want to make friends but they’re shy they don’t have to hary they can settle into their new school. Do we want loners sitting on the seats with no friend? Do you ?

Finley, you all are probably going to say you need to learn to get good grades, so then you get a good high school and college. So you can get a job and a good future. But actually, maybe if you give us more play time we will work harder at learning time.And if they are not learning they have to go down the target, because no one likes going down the target or going down to white zone!!!

So Mr Elder there are my three reasons why I think we should have longer play time!!!

 

 

!LANI!

L.G.  To put my story in paragraphs.

S.O.S.  physical, attributes, personality, things they do, and head.

    

Lani has two beautiful hazel eyes that shines like the sea on a sunny day.

Her eyebrows have a taste of swag which shines  bright on a sunny day. She has a thick layer of sunny golden hair hanging down by her chest, that glows like gold chersha! Her dry red ruby lips have a look of shine as you walk past her. She has a stunning booming voice that comes out of her mouth.

Lanis a sporty girl that wears puma, nike, adidas, new balance, and other very cool stuff!!! She has beautiful earrings  that are coloured turl. There  beautifuler  than diamonds  in the sky!

Lani has alway been a tomboy. She loves doing sport and having fun with her friends. She makes everyone laugh and giggle. She's a halaris girl that makes everyone laugh. She’s an amazing friend you could ever  think of!!!

Lani LOVES doing a lot of things especially sport. She does Netball, basketball, swimming, gymnastics, and other cool things! She LOVES going to fun places like going to mega bounce and air zone places. She loves playing tackle and rippa rugby!!!

Lanis a great person and the greatest friend all the TIME!!! It's like a dream come true!!!

I got hit by a car!!!

L.G.  To put my story in paragraphs

S.O.S. Intro, action, problem, solution

One day, One family got hit by a car, “But wait?” Let me start from the beginning.“Oh just great we have ran out of chicken,” called mum. “Looks like we're going to Pizza magic,” shouted mum to the kid’s. “But dad and his mate’s have the two car’s,”sobbed Molly, because she knew we had to walk!!!

Mum, Molly, Elliott, and I started walking to Pizza magic.

“Come one you can see the store from here, can you just walk a little faster,”mum yelled. “Ok come on, hold on to my hand to cross the road.”

Then on the main road, mum was on the left side. Which was the busiest. Her mum was called Kim. Then we all walked into the of the road waiting to cross the other side. Then one, two, three, four, a drunk lady in her car just came driving into the middle where we were. CRASH!!! Then my mum drop’s to the drown. I get winderd, because my mum’s elbow went into my head. Everyone scream’s especially the girls.  Then mums says,“ her ring dad  to come her,” called mum. Pointing the the to Elliott. “Please, go, run off the road.” Then comes dad and grandma. So Dad rings  the ambience. A minute later we all heard the ambiences siren going off. Me more, me more, me more. I go into the ambulance  to see if i’m ok. Then mum goes in. She was badly injured!!!

A day later they found out that mum had a broken shoulder!!!  But lukey I was okey. At the end of all of it everybody was okey. And mum had a cast on so it could              

                               Heal!!! The end

The remade titanic!!!

L.G.   To put my story in paragraphs

S.O.S.  The said is dead

Once upon a time there were three best friends, that were named  Myah, Lani, Meah. One day it was Meah’s Birthday. Her parents owned a boat  so she had it there.All the kids loved it, and when all the kids we're gone, And the party was over. But except Meah, lani and Mia.Meah’s  little brother Max playing with the engine. But nobody saw him  doing it. Then! Then Suddenly the engine wobbled and stopped.

The girls room in the boat had water coming out of the sides. They thought it was a leak but it got faster and faster, so it definitely wasn't a leak. Meah was getting really scared. She sobbed, “No we're all going to die!!!” In the next room was Meah’s parents room. There room was ffffffffllllllllllloooooooooooooooodddddddeeeeeeddddddddd!! Then SUDDENLY The parents were gone! Meah and her friends couldn't hear them so they raced to Meah’s parents room. Then the  room came a little teary, “But,” mumbled Lani. “We need to get out of here let’s go.” Then the boat leaned to one side. Then the girls all scream together, “AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!”

The boat was nearly gone, But then Lani had a great idea! Se, Called Lani Pointing to all the things that are floating around. Jump on to something floating! Come on let’s swim back, Added Meah.

Anyway it wasn't too far away from sur!

THE END!!!

Little miss frog

L.G. To put my stories in paragraphs.

S.O.S. To put my ideas in the right place.

Little miss frog sat on a log, then went for a jog. But it started raining. So little miss frog couldn't go for her lovely little jog. And  instead read a book about a dog.

How to  fly a plane!!!

L.G. to use precise verbs

S.O.S. Haven’t used get, grab and put

        -Include humour

If you've always wanted to fly a plane ,Well follow these simple and easy steps and in a minute you will know how to fly a plane.

NEEDS:

1 plane

2 you

3 successful attitude

4 good attitude

5 flying skills

6 safety

STEPS:

1 Jump into your plane,And snatch some safety gare or goggles just incase.

2 Push the start and engine button to turn on the plane.

3 Then pop your legs on the go pedal,Then say to the people to put their seatbelts on because we're going  now.

4  then as soon as you put your leg on the go pedal and say blast of.

5 Push the button to make your wheels go into the plane,So then you're set for the plane ride.

6 If you want you can do tricks like,Flips twirls and other cool tricks.(But you might crash and hurt yourself!)

7 If you follow these weird and crazy steps you will know how to fly a plane

8 Goodbye!!!!!!!

How to make slime!!!

L.G. Use language appropriate for your audience

S.O.S To use easy words for my reader

Have you ever had something so addicting well I have and if you do well if you do follow these easy and simple steps.

Needs:

1 2 bowls

2 borax

3food colouring and colour

41 botle of school glue or pva glue

5 hot water and cold water

6 spoon

Steps: 1 Get a bowl and pour  your school glue or pva glue and put it into the bowl. Then fill the empty glue bottle  we just used and put water in it.

2 Then get any colour of food colouring and put it I the bowl.You should put in 8 drops of food colouring in it's also optional for the colour.

3 Then get the bottle with water in the bowl.

4 Then grab your spoon and give everything a good stir.Until you can see the food colouring.

5  Then get another bowl and put half a cup plus ¼ of hot water. You need to add 2 teaspoons of borax in the bowl. Or no to much

6  Then stir till it's completely dissolved.

7  Then comes the fun part, grab the bowl with the food colouring in it. And  pour it into the other bowl.

8 Then start playing with it until it’s stuck together.

9 If you want you can put shaving cream in it to make it fluffy slime.

10 If you follow these 9/10 steps you will have this amazing slime!!!

BOTTLE CAP FIDGET SPINNERS

At home I always have nothing to do and if you're the same as me well. Here’s a simple and easy way to make a bottle cap  fidget spinner.

Needs:

1 Sesers

2 Wooden sticks.

3 5 bottle caps

4 Hot glue gun

5 Maker

6 Something pointy

7 canters

Steps:

1 Get two bottle caps and get some thing pointy to poke a hole in the two caps.You have to poke a hole in the middle of the two caps. And you can't use milk caps because want fit in your hands. Also get an adult or senior to poke a hole.

2 Then get a hot glue gun and glue on one side bottle cap but glue on the flat side. Glue around the hole you made.Also you need to get an adult or a senior to glue it.

3 Then get three other bottle caps and put them where you want them by the other two bottle caps.

4 Then get a maker and mark were the fidget caps are going.5 Then grab the glue gun and glue the caps were the mark is.6 Then grab a thick wooden stick and poke it through the hole you made. Ten cut both sides but they have to be poking out a little.7 Ten grab two counters and get the hot glue gun and  an adult and glue the counters on each side of the stick.8 Then just what for it to dry. If you follow these steps you will. Have an bottle cap fidget spinner that spins for 10 seconds!!!

FIDGET SPINNERS!

L.G. use paragraphs to organise my ideas.

S.O.S -use at least 5 word from list.

Picher this? You just went to the shop best 4 less.You get a glow in the dark fidget spinner.And everybody at school has one.So you had to bring  yours to school  then.CRASH! You drop it and someone steps on it.What a waste of money. Well Mr Elder I think fidget spinner should not be at school.Here are  my three reasons why.

I think we should not have fidget spinners at school because.Firstly it distracts kids when they are learning. The only reason why fidget spinners were made because it's for the people that can't stop fidgeting around and need something to distract them. Fidget spinners  are really addictive. So kids take them everywhere at school. Like on the mat or on the playground or the park.

Secondly. Fidget spinners are a waste of money. Say you go on a holiday and you bring your money because you want to get a fidget spinner because there really cool in palm st north and you go to by one but it’s so much. But it’s to cool so you  get it. When you get home you say. Were ‘my fidget spinner. You lost it. What a waste of money!!

Finally. Your parents get really annoyed with Them. Because if they want your attention you are so addictive to it you can’t look at them. Fidget spinners are really annoying because they can spin over 2 minutes. And they just  would never stop.

Finally. People say that without a fidget spinner your life is so boring. But that's completely and absolutely rubbish. Loads of people bring there fidget spinner to school. But were only allowed them at playtime. But there’s loads of things to play like. Get something out of the p.e. Shed or play on the playground.v You could play handball. You could play things on the feds like. Do gym rugby soccer,tackle tag or you could play four squre. There are my three reasons why.

Mr Elder I think our school should be banned from fidget spinners. Our school would be better if there were no fidg et spinners!

2.5.17

L.G. create a mood of fear/horror

s.O.S. language that creates a fear

Dear Mum and Dad.

I just jumped of the boat and i'm ducking down in the ocean. I am trying to swim to land.But there is about 30 thousand bullets going off in the sea.My heart is pounding. Bang!!! A bullet has tackled me down already. My  friends pull me out of the sea while I slowly get back up. My friends run into people. Then down he goes while my brothers chip down with the pain shouting help and screaming are dead. I duck under the wrench and grabbing my gun BUT!!!

Ou oh I run out of batteries then I'm down.

I get winded and I start to scream out with pain and I group down to the ground. Then one of my bones stick out and I slowly walk back to safety.

Love you so much and I will miss you alot!

From McKenna!

20-3-2017

McKenna Gernhoefer

Stratford primary school

Regan street

Stratford

Dear Sonia and George

Thank you for giving up your time to come to Room Six’s camp.

We all appreciated it when you  walked with us on the big walks and going to the Dawson falls.

You stayed some nights and helped people out and some parents couldn’t even come!

You helped us out with the food like breakfast, lunch, dinner and the yummy dessert. Thank you! When we got there, you both helped everyone pack and unpack! We really liked having you there. Once again, thank you!

Your sincerely

McKenna Gernhoefer